Outside Looking In

Insanity and inspiration are neighbors. In my own head, they are almost twins. At least that's what the self depreciating tortured artist in me says. Every week when I go to rehearsals for PMAZ, I am convinced the director is going to hear me sing and boot my butt to the curb, telling me he made a terrible mistake in auditioning me. On occation, blog writing is a water boarding experience for me. Drafts that are not quite perfect sit in the box for days before they are sent. When I finally post them, my mother calls to dutifully notify me of any errors. (Happy Mother's Day mom!)

With Etsy shops of friends popping up, and some pretty talented photographers flourishing in their businesses, I have become consumed with discovering a marketable talent in myself. I have frantically flipped over plenty of bushels and dug out many holes in the backyard looking for my talents. But, in a brief moment of inspiration not long ago, the annoying elfin creature, who sits on my proverbial shoulder and is named Sam, whispered the magic thought of grandeur to me.

"Teach classes at the Community Center," he chided.

Those six words eventually evolved into e-mailing the director of the Community Center to discuss the possibilities of teaching Literature Seminars and Writing Workshops, as well as tutoring. I really didn't believe I had a fart's chance in a hurricane of landing the job, but I was insane enough to think it was an inspired thought.

After showing a three member panel some of my own writings, a mock workshop, and explaining my philosophies of education and tutoring, I am getting my own page in the catalogue of available courses. My throat verps at the thought of it. They are going to figure out I am a fraud, the catalogue is going to have a giant red "CANCELLED" stamp across my classes. Sam is definitely going to have to come to classes with me.